Wolfgang Baur (the_monkey_king) wrote,
Wolfgang Baur

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Marsupial Terror Strikes!

I've been grilling a lot of burgers, bratwurst, pork chops, chicken, salmon, and vegetables lately. The process involves fire releasing fat drizzlings that drip off the grill and into a catch basin underneath, which then are promptly forgotten in the frenzy of seared meat and fish. Apparently I should be more diligent in removing said catch basin from the grill, because last night the Wilderness came for a visit, three feet long and full of attitude. This was not a quiet visit: it was a full-on, snout-first, are-the-neighbors-rattling-their-garbage-cans sort of visit. Since I live in the city, I wasn't really prepared for it.

At first, I was convinced the noise had to be coming from the alley. Nothing in our yard could possibly make that much noise.
Just to be sure, I turned on the porch light, and what do I see but an enormous, 15-pound King of Opossums with its freaky misshapen white head stuck all the way under the grill cover.I flash the porch lights at it. No reaction. I try a camera flash (hey, weird animal photos!). No reaction. I don't really want to go out and get bitten, but what the heck, I'm bigger and it's my damn grill. The moment I open the door, it bolts down the stairs and off into the dark. I go back to sleep, triumphant.

The opossum bided its time and returned an hour later. It made less noise the second time around, but it was clearly still attacking the grill. I opened the back door, chased it off again, and took the dripping pan away. End of visit.

The dog wisely slept through the whole thing.
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